Best of Craigslist

Best of Craigslist http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ Best postings from craigslist.org, selected by readers en-us Copyright 2009, craigslist.org webmaster@craigslist.org webmaster@craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ Best of Craigslist Collection 2008-07-02T14:35:28-04:00 2 daily Want it from behind while you play Super Mario Brothers ? - m4w http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/orl/740493470.html Do you love to play Super Mario Brothers on the Classic Nintendo System? Do you like to get tagged from behind while you do it? This is the post for you then. You must know your way around the game before we meet, must be open to anal sex, also able to fake an orgasm is a plus. I will send you the address to a hotel and a room number. When you arrive the door will be open. Please come in close and lock the door and close the shades if they are still open. I will be in the bathroom and the door will be closed. Turn on the TV and the Nintendo. Remove all of your clothing. Turn off all lights in the room and kneel down on the bed so you are directly in the light of the TV. You need to be facing the TV with your butt in the air pointed toward the pillows on the bed. Press the start button on the controller when you are ready. I will hear the sound and turn the light off in the bathroom and come out. You will not look directly at me, only look at the TV. When the first level starts I will begin to finger you and lick you. I will be using lots of lube as well. When you reach the end of level one, make sure to trigger the fireworks. This is vital to the entire experience. I must hear the fireworks. When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you. You may say things like, "MORE", "HARDER", "YES", "FUCK ME", but nothing else. I will continue having sex until the level ends. DO NOT take the secret level skip. If you die I will pull out and spank you until the level restarts. When you reach the flag you must again trigger the fireworks, and also orgasm. I will pull out. When the 1-3 starts I will penetrate your ass. You are allowed to say something like "OH GOD", "YES", OR "IT HURTS" no other conversation is allowed. When level 1-4 starts I will alternate between holes as I see fit. You may beg me to cum inside or outside of you, depending on what you want. When boss falls and you reach the princess I will pull out and blow my load where you have convinced me I want too. You may then say something like "Thanks", "It was great", "I loved it", "Don't stop" If I am impressed you may continue playing and I will continue to pleasure you. If I am not, I will turn the Nintendo Off and return to the bathroom. At this time you may clean your self with the towel that is beside the bed. Turn the lights on, redress yourself and leave. I may come back out and talk to you as you dress but the conversation will most likely be short and revolve around scheduling another time to get together. <ul> <li> Location: Orlando <li>it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2008-07-02T14:35:28-04:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/orl/740493470.html Want it from behind while you play Super Mario Brothers ? - m4w text To the Garageless Sports Car Owner http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/orl/446911138.html Excuse my typing, my paws are muddy. Its a $33,000 sports car. Its the only brand new one I ever owned, and I work hard to pay for it. Blah, Blah, Blah. Yeah, thats you. Work, work, work. Ill let you in on my career. I do nothing, and I get fed for free. In actuality, Im so bored, I track up sports cars for something to do. Im kind of proud of it, and in being so, I take very good care of it. This means I dont want to offer it up for your personal dance floor, so YOU can do your very own rendition of Tony Manero under the spinning disco globe on a nightly basis. Who gives a shit if you waste 4,000 gallons of water on a weekly basis? Oh, and by the way, cat in the asshat, it rains every day in Florida its my source of mud. So, youre wasting your time. And, if you actually paid attention, the pattern was after the moves in the Michael Jackson Thriller video with a little mix of the winning play in the Auburn Tigers/Florida Gators game. Moron. You see me wash it without fail, every couple of days, right? Why, oh why, must you insist on finding the only muddy spot in the neighborhood, to repeatedly dip your sponge pad paws there, so you can walk all over the entire car, and leave 110 brown prints on my Dupont Imron Paint? Why? See above. And explain the stamp pad factor of those feet of yours. Do you have to jump down for a refill and then back up, or does each foot hold a liter or two of dirt and its all in one trip? I have this vision of you stomping up and down like some sugared up 3rd grader in a mud puddle, doing your feline rendition of muhahahahaha and then traipsing all over said car for some form of gratification. I takes me 3 trips. Each paw holds 10 prints worth of mud. 40 rounds per trip, and I only dipped 3 feet on the third round, just to confuse you. Dont you have better things to do? Some mice to hunt and kill? Occasional mating with the feral cats? Howling? Catfights? Well? Ive killed off all the rodents long ago. The squirrels and I signed a truce. Ive fucked everything that walks around here (something youll never understand). My singing voice is shot, but, I still hold the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Cat) title in the hood. What have you accomplished lately? Now I originally come from a colder climate, and I know that you rough and tough outdoorsy types like to warm your balls on a freshly run V8s hood, and I can understand. I like warm balls too, they feel, hang, and swing to and fro much nicer, and Im in a better mood overall. But this is Florida, douchebag, and its not even winter yet. So there is no necessity in residing on my hood. The footprints on the rest of the car prove that youre just out to fuck with me. I just love to rub my balls on anything. Next time, do 120 all the way home and get your car really warmed up, so I can get a good nut-sack dangle going. I need to teabag the new calico that just moved in. I saw your little skid marks on the windshield too. RainX, motherfucker. Hahahaha. Did you catch the shit streak next to the E-Pass? That was fun. And if you EVEN think of extending just one claw, I will declare war faster than Franklin D. Roosevelt did in 1941. Thats funny. You humans will freak the fuck out over one little scratch in your car, but then wear the ones on your back like a badge. I will build a torture chamber consisting of 15 assorted steam radiators, with differing pressure relief check valves, and use orange juice as a base fluid in the boiler. Then I will lock you in there, to endure the pssssst sounds and the citrus stench, as I use a super-soaker full of mud water to blast your ears. I will, Tabby the Tap Dancer, dont doubt it. I know how to fuck with cats heads. Bring it on, Mr. Bud Light Salutes YOU - High and Mighty Garageless Sports Car Washer I was born in the back of an orange truck in Frostproof. I lived at the Floridas Best production center in Haines City my whole childhood, under the air compressor trailer. I have earplugs, and I know how to use them. Now I think I know who your owner is, and yeah, shes hot. Maybe you took it as an invitation when you heard me whisper under my breath, I wouldnt mind getting some of that pussy. but let me reiterate, it wasnt about YOU. Okay? Well, I could have hooked you up by just rubbin on your ankles when you talk to her. She digs that, and gets all mushy when I approve of male humans. But you had to come on here,bash me, and stir up a hornets nest, and get everybody flagging shit and debating garages, packrats and whatever. I can be bought though. So in closing, I will extend the courtesy of giving you another chance to find a different car to play King of the Mountain on. There are plenty of unwashed, un-waxed cars in the hood. Star Kist Select albacore, and leave the water in the can. Every Tuesday without fail, on the first landing of your stairs. Maybe, just maybe, Ill leave the precious car alone. And....if you want to hook up with my owner, I need catnip, about ¼ ounce a week and it has to be crippie. Got it? Luv, Tabby  <img src=446911138.1.jpg> <img src=446911138.2.jpg>  <ul class="blurbs"> <li> Location: The Cat <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul>  webmaster@craigslist.org 2007-10-12T08:34:20-04:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/orl/446911138.html To the Garageless Sports Car Owner text